My wedding box

I was so excited that day having to show my dad my wedding box. In it are my wedding gown and stuff, plus Chris’ and dad’s barong. Couldn’t wait to show off what I bought for us. I first pull out the gown from the box. He said I would be the most beautiful bride with that gown as I got a handsome dad. I then showed him his barong. He couldn’t wait to try it on. Told him we should wait for October but he said he wanted to know if it would fit him. He asked if we could both try ours on, me on my wedding gown and dad’s on his barong but he was worried he’s not wearing his black pair of pants that time. He said he wanted a picture of us together. But I told him I had arranged for a photographer for the wedding for sure we will have nice pictures on the wedding and told him we should look at our best when we wear our wedding clothes so told him we have to wait. He insisted on trying his barong. He said if I could just lay it flat on his back to see if shoulders would fit. I gave in to that request. Told him it fit perfectly well and that he would look really handsome on my wedding day. He joked that he would even look more handsome than the groom.

But now, I lose that excitement of looking into my box. Nearly left it at the airport when I flew back to Thailand from Manila. When I got into my room I just left it there in a corner. Each time I lay my eyes on it I can’t help but cry.

I went back to work. My co teachers were all excited to see my wedding gown. They said they wanted to go to my place to look at it. But I couldn’t tell them I got no courage to open my box yet. I tried every night to open it but i failed. Each time I lay my hands on the box my heart feels so sad and tears would just flood down my face and I couldn’t stop crying.

It’s not that I have changed my mind of getting married. I just can’t stand looking into my wedding box knowing my dad wouldn’t be able to make it to my wedding day. i hope God would be so kind to me on my wedding day, I just want to feel my dad’s presence on this special day cos I had been waiting to share this special day with him. Anyway dad’s got his barong with him, he could just pop in anytime during the wedding. Only hope it wont scare the guests away!

Friendster blog August 2008