Maso

I take severe pleasure in wanting to see myself cry in front of the mirror. I felt overwhelmed seeing those tears…as if each drop will race down to the finish line—- my EMOTIONLESS face! Why do i feel that I am no longer part of either worlds? I am awaken in a world where you have to conform and do things exactly as what others would like you to do. A slight deviation suggests a cruel punishment—- A SILENT WAR! A situation in which you never want to be in. It leaves no physical marks of abuse though….yet the emotional scar that it made will keep your inside so hollow that you no longer feel whole. That’s when i created my own world so as to gather those shattered pieces back…mend it on my inside…thus making me whole again. But then…still…in this world where I am my own captain I never felt the same excitement and pleasure that I used to have on that other world. I longed for those nights that i used to cry in pain. I missed hearing my body shouts in its excruciating agony. I wanted so much to be locked in the dark room again and be abandoned!