Monday, August 27, 2007

Another year

Another year had passed since my
last birthday.. What have I got and lost? Gained many friends most of them from
on line (thanks to friendster, multiply and yahoo). Reunited and got connected
with my fellow pilarians (who would have thought we would enjoy reminiscing the
old high school days wherein before we only know each other "by faces" not "by
names" but look at us now we even got our pet names for each other, so sweet).
Lost a few friends and people whom I loved and cared about, unfortunately. But
that is what life is as far as friendship and relationship goes. Learned new
lessons in life brought about by curiosity, love, hatred, vengeance, and
ignorance.

CURIOSITY

It did kill the cat! But
instincts could save you, that’s why I am still here. Alive and kicking ;)

LOVE

I learned that a man
couldn’t’ love you more than his family (don’t raise an eyebrow please I am just
speaking through experience). So better go out with an orphan!

HATRED

It is damn too heavy to
carry! Have this only for a lil while then LEAVE it behind! You would walk
faster and smoothly without it!

VENGEANCE

Some lil goody food for your
ego. Do it MILD, NICE and EASY! and do it only ONCE. Watch out for
KARMA!

IGNORANCE

The world isn’t always as
friendly to an ignoramus. Read instructions carefully and follow it to the
letter!


August 2007

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Lost

I don't know what kind of life I'm leading to right now? I seem to be at lost here. For a moment, I never care for directions anymore. If I go left today and turn right tomorrow doesn't really matter. I only live for a day now expecting nothing.

What has happened to me? I used to have dreams....lots of them. All wonderful and exciting. But now for no reason at all -- I just stopped dreaming! Hmmm....Who am I trying to fool here? MYSELF I guess!

Football

Life is like a football game. You have to aim and make a goal in order to win. But it isn't as easy as it seems. You see even football players have to sweat it out and use all the strength inside their bodies to make sure their team wins.

When you are now out in the field, how do you play the game? Will you be a passive player or an aggressive one? Will you lay still and just watch while the ball makes its way to the opponent's goal? or will you be brave enough to charge and try to steal the ball and give it a mighty kick towards your team's goal?

Let us live our lives like we are playing football - Don't be afraid to charge; appear strong (let your opponent be scared to take the ball from you); use your head (it's meant for thinking!) - use strategy! and what's most important....... kick the ball as if your aiming for the world cup finals!

An irony of life

How strange life can really be. All your life you spend searching for that something. You keep on looking too far where in fact it was just right in front of you and within reach.

But here's the catch, once you get hold of it... you keep on pushing it away. Push it further away...until it slipped and bound never to return

Monday, August 13, 2007

Up and ready to greet the sun with a smile

I woke up feeling renewed today. Last night’s sleep was great. Brought back that strength and vigor I used to have. Thanks to my friends, online buddies and schoolmates who had been keeping me sane all the time.

I look forward now of coming out from my self-made prison of agony. I realized I shouldn’t be putting all the blame to myself. It’s no one’s fault really. It was just not a perfect time for us to be together. I only wish you now the best in everything and may you find that happiness that we both been searching for.

The sun is beaming now with all its splendor and beauty. I am up for a new challenge. Indulge me. I am ready.

August 2007

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Stones

Was walking in my dreams again. Didn't exactly know where. Saw these stones along the way. Each looked different from one another. Some were of bright colors, others were just dull and blunt; some were smooth on the surface, others were rough and crooked on the edges; some looked big and hard, others appeared too little and less appealing. I picked up one of each kind of these stones. and headed towards home. Put them all in one clean and clear bottle and sealed it. Each day as I woke up, never did I forget to look at those stones with awe (for they seem to look good together in one bottle, their differences make them spectacular to look at), concern, and yes love (couldn't help myself but to fall in love with them). Didn't know why I felt that way towards these stones...maybe because they were all I had at that moment.

Then I had a glimpse of my tired face in the mirror... a tear drop was peeping through my left eye. I tried to look away and I turned to my bottle with stones in it. Oh! that bright colored stone shine like one big star in a dark moonless night. As if it was telling me to cheer up. It seemed to be shouting for all my ears to hear that everything will be alright again and that I shouldn't lose hope. It was then I decided to keep this stone for real. Put it out from the bottle and carefully hid it in my treasures' chest. The next day, I was in the verge of plunging into a quick slap shot decision in my life when I took notice of that dull and blunt looking stone in the bottle. It was so timid. So quiet. So serene. Its silence was overwhelming. It was giving me ENOUGH time to think things over and over so I wouldn't make any wrong decisions this time. That's when I felt that I should have it in my treasures' chest.

Two stones were still left inside my bottle. That big, hard looking stone and the too little, less appealing stone. What should I do with these? In a snap, I put these two inside my treasures' chest thinking of keeping them for real, the same way as I had wanted for the first two stones.

I was in shocked one day when I opened my chest. Gone now was the magnificent scene that I used to see when they were still in that bottle. That big, hard looking stone got moss all over its body. I immediately threw it out from the chest. It landed on the floor. Stained was left on the floor as soon the stone landed. I looked at my other stones, they too got a lil something on their surface as caused by that big, hard looking stone. I took them out from the chest one by one. Cleaned them and put them out to dry under the sun. When it was time to put them back in the treasures' chest, that's when I noticed this too little, less appealing stone. Although as small as it was, it was this stone who had made a very big impact on me. This stone wanted me to stay still. To give it time for this big, hard looking stone to prove its worth to be put inside my treasures' chest again. That's when I looked down again and picked up that big, hard looking stone on the floor. Its big and hard and yet on the floor it looked so small and soft that only a step of this foot could grind him into pieces. I cleaned this stone and let it dry. I put it inside my bottle waiting for the time when it can be in my treasures' chest again.

Friends are like stones that you see and pick up along the way. But you don't expect them to become real friends instantly the moment you picked them up. Friendship grows and blooms in your heart. It resides there and continue to be there no matter what happens. You may never hear a word from me or see me for all your life but all of you would always remain my precious stones that I keep inside my treasures' chest.

Just a thought

I woke up feeling a bit dizzy. Tried to walk into the shower but then the bathroom deodorizer made my already upset stomach even worse. Threw up (who knows how many times). Went back to bed was not feeling any better. Was looking at the wind chime which was graciously dancing with the wind. They made such a peaceful and serene sound together. Wish I could hear that sound for eternity as I lay here feeling my bulging tummy. Wondering how would she look like? Will she have the same snobbish and unfriendly eyes of mine? or will she have her daddy's charming and brilliant eyes? Will she get the same dimples on her cheeks? or maybe daddy's cute mole on her nose. Oh I can't wait to have you little one...to cuddle you in my arms as I sing you lullaby. Can't wait to nestle you on my chest as I put you into sleep. Oh I can't wait my dear. And am so filled with excitement of seeing you come to this world.

Was busy having these thoughts when all of a sudden I felt a pain on my back and my head ached like hell. Aaaaaaaargh! Oh I fell off from the bed. A dream?????? Everything seemed real ;)

Just an ordinary day

Set the alarm at 7am last night. But was still feeling sleepy that I didn't get up as I heard it rang half an hour ago. Now I was rushing to the bathroom. Went back again to look at the time. Oh my ! quarter to eight! Only a quick shower for today I told myself. I looked at myself in the mirror. Hallucinating again? I couldn't believe I just see Garfield (when I cry overnight my eyes are no different from Garfield's). I turned on the shower. Aarrrrrrrgh cold water! Made me get back to my senses. Brushed my teeth with my right hand while my left was soaping my still tired body. When I came out from the shower it's exactly eight. Still got more minutes before the guy from the language centre comes to pick me up. Decided to grab a sandwich as I went down to the lobby to wait.....Wait..waiting still... Finally he came.

Had a quick briefing with the center's owner on what to teach and discuss with the students. Said I would have an hour with this group. Entered the room trying to assess each students' abilities. How would I talk to them in the manner that they could understand? These students are in high school but then their English are still limited to yes or no, what's your name, how old are you. How can I be able to explain to them on how to answer these worksheets that were just handed to me few minutes ago? These people really want the quickest way to learn English!

To my next class I went. Curious looking little kids with sunny smiles beaming on their faces. I just love this group! my kids! They're ages range from 4 to 7 years old. I really adore them. It never fails to bring me to the summit each time I hear them talk to me in English. Lovely little kids who want to play and learn English at the same time. But time was so quick. Didn't notice the clock hanging on the wall. My next group of students were already peeping in the window making deliberate signs to send off my little angels as it will now be their time.

The menace group was scheduled to be the last group that I would be going to teach for today. It wasn't even a minute while I was writing on the board when I heard one student cried. Waaaaaaaah!Her seat mate called her a buffalo (for Thais that would be the most offensive term that you could call a person). Went to talk to that naughty boy. Ssshhhhh! told him, "If you call her a buffalo again, then we will have two buffaloes now inside this room. Her and you! Get that?" I gave one sharp look at that boy afterward.That sent him to silence. I gave out some worksheets for them to answer. Everything seemed to be going on quite smoothly. Suddenly all the students from the last row stood up and screamed. Come on what's it this time? One student was teasing his friend and he accidentally hit a plastic cup full of soda with ice. All their worksheets were soaked with green soda. Maybe that's the reason why I was always given worksheets in excess. Ten minutes before 12 they were giving me signs already that they wanted to go home. Told them if you want to go home you would miss the game that I had prepared for this class. That's when they stopped bugging me with their "we want to go home stuff". Oh at last 12 now. I could bid this crazy group adios!

Kung ikaw daw ay "insomniac"

1. Magbilang ka daw ng tupa (pati nga balahibo ng tupa naisipan ko na din bilangin, la pa din epek).

2. Uminom ka daw ng gatas bago matulog. Ilang tasa na nga ang tinungga ko eh. Lalo ko hinde nakatulog. Nag pururot na kasi ko dahil sa gatas. Masama pala ang sobra.

3. Ikutin mo daw ang unan mo ng 3 beses. Hinde ko maintindihan kung saan ang logic nito, pero... wag kang tumawa...hmmmmp! ginawa ko na din ito. Useless! grrrrrrrrr.

4. Ibahin mo daw ang pwesto ng pagtulog mo. Lipat ka nman daw sa ibang side. Naikot ko na nga lahat ng kanto ng kama ko, aba't ala pa din. Dilat pa din ako!

5. Eto bago...mag - blog daw ako. Aysus lalo ko hinde makatulog kasi kailangan ko matapos itong post na ito bago ko ipikit ang mga mata ko. Hinde ko mapapakali pag hinde ko ito na-ipost.Hala adik ka na!

Ay naku wala talaga ko maisip kung paano makatulog. Nasaan na ba ang dyosa ng pagtulog, dalawin mo naman ako oh!!!